I really feel the need to talk about how proud I am of Michael today.
If you've read my intro, you know that we haven't been married very long. Only five years, 4 1/2 of those years with a child, and 2 1/2 of those years with his health problems. Ours had not been an easy road and there have been many times when our marriage has really suffered because of these things. Let me also add that Michael was 37 when we met...very much a set in his ways bachelor. Oh, and did I mention that we're both INCREDIBLY stubborn and set in our ways?
It's been a long time since Michael's really taken care of himself. His diabetes went unchecked for a very long time, and it's hard for him to accept limitations on any part of his life. Especially when those limitations are given to him by other people. We have both struggled so much with the life changes we've needed to make and while we've been successful in some areas, we've failed in others. We struggle daily with all of the changes, but we know that not only is it in our best interest, it's in our son's best interest. We MUST teach him NOW to take care of his body and eat right.
Until recently, I've been working full time, helping out every night at our TKD school, and doing all the "mom" chores at home...cooking, cleaning, laundry, and all that good stuff. I've been failing miserably all the "mom" chores, and Michael's health has suffered...until this week.
I'm not sure what has changed, but Michael has left me speechless this week and last week. Instead of staying away from the gym when he's tired, he's been going. Instead of eating out or expecting me to cook, he's been cooking. Yesterday I came home from work and I was blown away. The washer and dryer were running, the dishwasher was running, the sink was void of ALL dirty dishes, the laundry was folded, and dinner was in the slow cooker. Y'all, I could have been knocked over with a feather. I didn't even know what to do with myself. And this isn't the first time. Last week he cleared off most of the pool table (which is a HUGE catch all for our junk).
I cannot begin to describe the happiness and lightness in my heart. Instead of feeling weighed down with all the things that need to be done, I feel like I can play a board game with my son, and not feel guilty. I feel like I can sit and watch a TV show with my husband, and not feel guilty. Sure, there's still cleaning and organizing that I need to do, but I don't feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders.
So Michael, if I do end up sharing this with you, I want you to know how proud I am of you. I am so VERY lucky that you are my husband. You are taking a stand against these heart limitations, and saying, "I can DO this." I have hope now, that you will be with us for a long time, and that gives me so much joy. No one wants to lose their spouse. Ever. But the thought of losing you before you get to see our son grow into a man breaks my heart. He needs you and so do I. Thank you for setting an example for our little family. I love you so VERY much.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Thoratec and Seton Hosptial Dinner 5/5/2011
Ok Jenny, I'm sitting down and making the time to get this out! LOL! This is a VERY rough draft, just getting my thoughts out there, so bear with me. :)
Last Thursday was such a wonderful day for Michael and I!! The physician's assistant, Ellen, in our local cardiologists office had set up a dinner with Thoratec and Seton Hospital, the LVAD hospital in Austin, Texas. I've known about this dinner almost since Michael got his LVAD, and I've been eagerly awaiting it all this time. I was told that we would be meeting some other LVAD families in the area, and I just cannot begin to explain how important it is to have an LVAD support system. The people I have met on Facebook have already begun to be family to me. Two ladies specifically have touched me, but I'll tell their stories later.
So we set up a babysitter, got our fancy duds on, and headed out to Christopher's, a local gourmet restaurant. When we got there, it was PACKED. We couldn't move, couldn't hear anyone, and the table made for us was taken over by other attendees. Then we met Michelle, the sweetest person and the Thoratec rep for Houston. She was stressed to the max and so upset that things were not going as smoothly as possible; however, she introduced us to Don and Anne Seaman and our night was complete!!!
Anne is 69 and has had her LVAD since October 2010. She and Don have been married for 46 years and they are the most precious couple! We exchanged stories, talked about dressings, compared hospitals, and all the while I kept thinking to myself, "Now WHERE is her controller? She doesn't have a bag, she doesn't have a belt...I know it's there somewhere..." Michael was equally confused and finally asked her where she kept all her hardware. By that time my eagle eyes had spotted her controller and I thought to myself, "GENIUS!!" She said, "Well you know, when I was still in the hospital, I was talking with the LVAD coordinator, Chris, and told him I just wasn't going to carry all of this stuff around with that darn Go Gear. It just doesn't work for me. So I got myself a yard of muslin, sewed up a vest with pockets, and honey, I am a 40D for the first time EVER!" HA!! Didn't I tell you she is adorable?? Her controller sits right across her chest, and if I weren't looking for it, I never would have known that it wasn't her own "assests".
Once Michelle got everyone at their correct tables and correct rooms, we ordered and then spoke to some undergraduate students who were looking into being P.A.'s (physician assistants). We got to tell them a little bit of our story, answer their questions, and show them how an LVAD works. And then the real test started. Michelle had us stand in front of all the P.A.'s and cardiologists, to tell our stories and to answer their questions. I have to say, I was so nervous. Here I was in front of these amazingly intelligent people, and they wanted to learn from me. ME! Then I realized, I got this. As a caretaker, I know more about the LVAD than most doctors in this world, and definitely more than the doctors in that room. I cannot tell you how empowering it was to come to that realization. It was then I knew that I would do whatever it takes to educate and spread the word about LVADs. This device saved our family, and the more medical professionals that know about it, the more people that can be saved.
After the dinner I had a chance to introduce myself to Dr. Mays, the cardiologist who inserted Michael's balloon pump after he came into the ER and coded. She is a pretty intimidating woman, because she is SO intelligent, but she was so gracious. I was able to thank her for saving my husband, and she told me she remembered that day very clearly. We talked for a while about our journey and she was incredibly encouraging. We are so blessed that she was available to operate on Michael that day. Thank you Dr. Mays!!!
By this time, our coach would soon turn into a pumpkin, and I we began to say our goodbyes. When we spoke to Michelle, she asked if we would be available to help educate the medical community in the future, and we said, "ABSOLUTELY!!!" Michael and I are so excited to share our story, and hopefully give support to other families who will have to make the same decisions we made.
We had a wonderful night, and while we only got to meet one other LVAD patient, we did find out that there are 3 other LVADers in the area and we hope to meet them soon!!
Last Thursday was such a wonderful day for Michael and I!! The physician's assistant, Ellen, in our local cardiologists office had set up a dinner with Thoratec and Seton Hospital, the LVAD hospital in Austin, Texas. I've known about this dinner almost since Michael got his LVAD, and I've been eagerly awaiting it all this time. I was told that we would be meeting some other LVAD families in the area, and I just cannot begin to explain how important it is to have an LVAD support system. The people I have met on Facebook have already begun to be family to me. Two ladies specifically have touched me, but I'll tell their stories later.
So we set up a babysitter, got our fancy duds on, and headed out to Christopher's, a local gourmet restaurant. When we got there, it was PACKED. We couldn't move, couldn't hear anyone, and the table made for us was taken over by other attendees. Then we met Michelle, the sweetest person and the Thoratec rep for Houston. She was stressed to the max and so upset that things were not going as smoothly as possible; however, she introduced us to Don and Anne Seaman and our night was complete!!!
Anne is 69 and has had her LVAD since October 2010. She and Don have been married for 46 years and they are the most precious couple! We exchanged stories, talked about dressings, compared hospitals, and all the while I kept thinking to myself, "Now WHERE is her controller? She doesn't have a bag, she doesn't have a belt...I know it's there somewhere..." Michael was equally confused and finally asked her where she kept all her hardware. By that time my eagle eyes had spotted her controller and I thought to myself, "GENIUS!!" She said, "Well you know, when I was still in the hospital, I was talking with the LVAD coordinator, Chris, and told him I just wasn't going to carry all of this stuff around with that darn Go Gear. It just doesn't work for me. So I got myself a yard of muslin, sewed up a vest with pockets, and honey, I am a 40D for the first time EVER!" HA!! Didn't I tell you she is adorable?? Her controller sits right across her chest, and if I weren't looking for it, I never would have known that it wasn't her own "assests".
Once Michelle got everyone at their correct tables and correct rooms, we ordered and then spoke to some undergraduate students who were looking into being P.A.'s (physician assistants). We got to tell them a little bit of our story, answer their questions, and show them how an LVAD works. And then the real test started. Michelle had us stand in front of all the P.A.'s and cardiologists, to tell our stories and to answer their questions. I have to say, I was so nervous. Here I was in front of these amazingly intelligent people, and they wanted to learn from me. ME! Then I realized, I got this. As a caretaker, I know more about the LVAD than most doctors in this world, and definitely more than the doctors in that room. I cannot tell you how empowering it was to come to that realization. It was then I knew that I would do whatever it takes to educate and spread the word about LVADs. This device saved our family, and the more medical professionals that know about it, the more people that can be saved.
After the dinner I had a chance to introduce myself to Dr. Mays, the cardiologist who inserted Michael's balloon pump after he came into the ER and coded. She is a pretty intimidating woman, because she is SO intelligent, but she was so gracious. I was able to thank her for saving my husband, and she told me she remembered that day very clearly. We talked for a while about our journey and she was incredibly encouraging. We are so blessed that she was available to operate on Michael that day. Thank you Dr. Mays!!!
By this time, our coach would soon turn into a pumpkin, and I we began to say our goodbyes. When we spoke to Michelle, she asked if we would be available to help educate the medical community in the future, and we said, "ABSOLUTELY!!!" Michael and I are so excited to share our story, and hopefully give support to other families who will have to make the same decisions we made.
We had a wonderful night, and while we only got to meet one other LVAD patient, we did find out that there are 3 other LVADers in the area and we hope to meet them soon!!
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